After spending all morning on the computer, I needed to get out of the apartment, get some fresh air and exercise. I decided it might be a good time to walk down to the nearest theater and catch a movie.  It’s slim pickings right now, but I saw that I, Frankenstein was playing.  Critics gave it a 33% rating; audiences gave it a 70% rating. I tend to side with the audience when it comes to movie reviews, watched the trailer, which you can see above, and decided that would be my afternoon entertainment.

The plot, in a nutshell, is that if a demonic prince can rediscover Victor Frankenstein’s secret formula for re-animating corpses, he can possess all their corpses with demons from Hell and conquer the world.  Contrary to popular belief, demons can only rarely take over a human body.  Opposing this plan is a legion of angels disguised as gargoyles.  They lurk on cathedrals and such, and transform into hunky warriors when demons need their butts kicked.

The angels think the Creature should be destroyed. The demons think he should be captured and studied. The Creature thinks he should be left alone.  He hides out for a couple of centuries, but finally gets bored and goes demon hunting. Then begins about 80 minutes of almost non-stop martial arts action, transformations, explosions, and other special effects.  Demons appear in fire and die in flames and descend to Hell. Angels appear in light, and die in light, and ascend to Heaven.

The movie has no big names.  The few women in it appear to be Europeans and are very beautiful. The antihero is ruggedly ugly–it’s the scars.  Acting is minimal but competent. No one ever has to portray any  emotion other than menace, fear, or caution.  This is not a movie about character development, but Adam Frankenstein does develop a little bit, say about as much as Conan does in a Schwarzenegger movie.  The martial arts action is fast and furious, and frequently ends with the defeated exploding–did you know that demons explode when slain by a sacramental weapon? Bwa ha ha ha!

Exploding demons, lots of violence, no blood, no bad language, no sex–it was a kind of live-action Saturday morning cartoon.  As such, I enjoyed it–just what I wanted, a popcorn-munching movie.

It’s going to be a terrible flop, of course. I was the only person in the theater for the mid-afternoon showing. They also made it in 3D–perfect for that. I’m sure it has lots of stuff jumping off the screen at the audience in 3D.  I wouldn’t pay extra for that.

The bad guy demons all wore these perfect business suits, black coat and tie, every one of them. Could that be the hidden moral of the story? Never trust a man in a suit, especially a black suit? Bwa ha ha ha ha!

But, if you like fantasy combat and cool special effects, then you should see it if you get the chance.  The ending was a bit pretentious, but the gargoyles were great.  3 stars out of 5.

Better weapons than brass knuckles.

If you’ve ever seen a Frankenstein movie, why not leave a comment?