Money from Africa   1 comment

This blog was originally meant to be about things that entertain me–movies, books, parties, even emails could qualify. The internet is all about entertainment, when it isn’t all about getting your money. 🙂

I got another scam letter from Nigeria today, and it sparked an idea.  My guess is that the brightest minds of Africa are working on these scams, making things ever more plausible and entertaining in hopes of finding that one in a million gullible person who will fall for it and give them money. I’ll reproduce the one I got so you can see just how hard they work at trying to make this unbelievable scam believable. (and it doubles the size of this blog, thus making it more entertaining)  Here it is:

Greetings to you,I have kept a close monitoring of the account since then and nobody has come forward to claim the  money as next of kin to the late Mr. Ziya Bazhayev meaning that no one is aware of the account. I can not directly take out this money without the help of a foreigner and that is why I am contacting you for an assistance to claim the funds and share it with me.

This letter must come to you as a big surprise, but I believe it is only a day that people meet and become great friends and business partners.My name is Mr.Zuma Kalu the present branch Manager of a bank here in Nigeria West Africa.

I write you this proposal in good faith, believing that I can trust you with the information I am about to reveal to you. Like I said, I have a transaction that will benefit both of us, as your assistance is required as a foreigner.

I use to head the Accounts department in my bank head office, but last December I was asked to take position of a Manager of our branch in Lagos who passed on,so that was how I became the present Manager and discovered a fortune. As I resumed duty, I discovered an account with total sum of $10.5 million that has not been operated on for the past 4 years.From my investigation,I found out that this account belongs to one Late Mr. Ziya Bazhayev a Russian big time Oil dealer, who unfortunately lost his life in the Air France Concorde  on July 26, 2000.

You will read more news about the crash on visiting these site;
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/851119.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

(Atroll speaking–this is clever–first time I’ve seen scammers try to reinforce the hustle with a link to something that actually happened.)

As the Manager of my bank branch, I have the power to influence the release of the funds to any foreigner that comes up as the next of kin to the account, with the correct information concerning the account, which I shall give you.I am seeking your co -operation to present you as the next of kin to the account.

There is practically no risk involved, the transaction will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of law.If you accept to work with me, I want you to state how you wish us to share the funds in percentage, so that both parties will be satisfied. Contact me as soon as you receive this message if you feel we can work together,so as to give you more details.

Thanking you in advance and may God bless you.

Please, treat with utmost confidentiality.

I wait your urgent response.

Regards,
Mr.Kalu

Sorry, Mr. Kalu (not really), no confidentiality for you. This is a scam, and you’re a crook, and I don’t believe for a second  you have any banking connections at all. Love that name, tho. Zuma Kalu, a fantasy character name if I ever saw one.
This is my idea, and my question. Would it be plagiarism to put together a book consisting entirely of these scam letters?  What if I interjected snide remarks after each letter? Would it be entertaining enough that anyone would buy and read it? Would it serve a purpose as an object lesson and warning? Would anybody publish it for me?  If I did it, am I an author, an editor, or an anthologist? Or all three?
Would the scammers put a hit out on me for exposing them this way?
Would such a book benefit from including the scam letters from all over the rest of the world? It’s just amazing how many lotteries I’ve won that I never even entered.  I could easily do a chapter on winning the lottery.
And then how about all those women who never met me but have a secret crush on me? And all those women in Russia who want to have my baby? You know there is plenty of material available for a book about internet scams, and yet I don’t think I’ve ever seen one. I don’t think I’ve ever looked for one, though. Maybe I should do that  first.
I don’t think I’ll do the book, but it was fun to think about for a little while. A quick check of Amazon netted 1355 hits for book searches on internet scams and hoaxes.  Or, if I do, I’ll really have to find an angle that plays it for laughs–there are plenty of serious warnings already. Darn! For a few minutes there, I imagined that I had an original thought.
And remember, if someone makes you an offer that is too good to be true, then it isn’t true. You can’t cheat an honest man. If someone invites you into a dishonest scheme, then the person who will get cheated is you.
end
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Posted December 17, 2009 by atroll in Uncategorized

One response to “Money from Africa

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  1. Sadly there are no original thoughts, only original and funny people having them. 🙂

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